Corey Galveston

Right now in the Gallery is practice for a fashion show. I'm every women is playing while "larger" girls march in high heels, day clothes, and fancy make up to raise money for Spelman. Its embarrassing to watch because practice aren't meant to be seen, they are just meant to be judged with vision. Every now and again the models kick into this routine of dancing. The all grab corners of the stage and start undulating their soft arms. They look so unhappy. When they do this the also all jump at the same time. It gets so loud. Boom Boom Boom undulate arms, smile, boom boom, march this way march that way, Boom Boom Boom.

Its exactly the same sound as being nervous, in love, or afraid. The kind of emotion where you just located your heart through sound and feeling more than years of pledging. I'm back! I love you and for the record these black girls are the only connection to my heart in months - its great almost like being free from my most demanding organ!

someone finally decided to give me a degree. I know! Right!

I'm no longer a golden child...I feel supremeley crushed by this realization once every 2 days. Than I cry in secret. Oddly my life is fantastic. I live in a magical home in with a cat and sweet boy. I'm two months from a bachelors degree.

I painted two nights ago in my studio and felt calm. I'll just have to do more art and read that list Pete emailed me. Last night I fell asleep at 11pm. I get up at 7am 75% of the time. (whats happened to me?) ANyways I wanted to discuss this....being 24 thing. Transition is tough. Thats it. Thank you for listening.

Post Golden Child Disorder.

Dearest - I'm in florence I awake with the sun and have walked so much between Rome and here that my hip joints swell everytime I sit. Last nite I cooked a wonderful italian dinner and today I scoured the city for pictures. Tomarrow I will try to buy a bike so I can give these bones a rest. For lunch a eat fresh tomatoes, garlic, and basil by the spoonfuls and marvel at how cheap and lovely such conviences are. The roomate situation is okay except for the one that is crazy....and I regret to say that Sarah cannot live in my dwellings because of her worrying mind. Other than that class starts. We got our schedule and I will live eat, breathe, and make art. Hopefully ride my bycycle and eat homeade food. We got lucky our apt. is amazing! Why can't this girl let Sarah stay for two nights!!?? ahh the shame of it. Anyways Atlanta you are here I saw a ying yang twins (Yaaaa!) poster and for a moment breathed home. I hope everything is well, will anyone tell me of any new developments. I know one person that reads this. Sweet Italian Cat Calls to you all.

So today its kind of slow..its very cold here. Which means I'm totally useless. It got very summery for two days but has managed to be rainy and cold all the rest. I'm most excited because tommarrow I fly to Rome. Here its sort of like visiting your Grandma..if your Grandma insisted you get trashed everynite. Its been a little tough too because I have managed to get sick again and I'm trying to quite smoking (sort of). I woke and coughed up some blood one nite. It was very little, but as one could possible imagine (knowing me) I was sufficiently freaked out. All and all though, I saw some great art, drink great beer, got to see my favorite part of the family, and I slept a lot (which was well needed)! I miss Mr. Pants and my friends, it would be lie if I said I didn't. Its hard because my trip hasn't really hit its adventure phase yet. It is harder because to go into town is fun but being in the farm lands of Bavaria its very tough to meet anyone that speaks English. Tonite though shall be fun. Regardless of being sick I will drink - I have been cutting back much. I had one day where I went nuts and then I think it made me sick. It was funny because I think I got pretty wasted with a bunch of lawyers and my Aunt...hehe. Its wierd now because you feel much drunker when you drink and can't smoke. So thats kind of the 411 - and there are pictures. I'm sorry if its boring....I'm even sorry that when my trip becomes its best I won't have the internet to talk about what a wonderful time I#m having.....but I'm fairly sure that the lack of internet directly correlates to adventure. So Tschusse - tomarrow I leave for Rome for a day or two and then on to Florence. Where I think Monday I'll get the internet....so if anyone happens to read this, come back then. Arevadercci.

http://picasaweb.google.com/andepie/Ausfahrt

So I can't get the pictures off the camera...I'm sorry. Today I looked at WWII Uniforms and I have the coolest new hat!

Kisses!

I have to meander to town and in broken German attempt to buy a watch. I think it will make italy much easier. Everything is beautiful and green although it is raining today. I have eaten lots of ice cream and potatoes and german tofu - which gets me laughed at almost everywhere. I ate McDonalds because my aunt loves it. I have seen art by Joeseph Bueys, Blue Riders, and ANdy Warhol. They didn't have the Rauschenberg it was gone to somewhere else. I made recordings of Daucha because there is nothing else to do but read all the saddest things in the rooms where they happened in silence. I ate yogurt flavored ice cream and loved it. I pet the dog I am crazy vegetarian american....and I wait. I wait for Italy. After three visits Alloting is almost a second home. So I rest up and I dream - although I'm fairly certain that this is unneccesary. Bring me the world on a silver platter, I'll push the meat aside and eat the garnish. 

When did I wake up so scared?

I'm in Munich about to take a very large dog for a walk with meine Tante. I have been awake for 20 hours _ in the past 4 hours I have had to 2 espressos and 2 biers _ I think that is legitamtley what qualifys as burning the midnite oil. Now it is time for the walk. Life is Grand. Serious Faces.

Passport is here. Aunt is spoken to. Hair is cut. I need this. When I talk to David he tells me he hopes I change and figure it out. He hopes I'll come back liking more who I am. Others discourage this sort of thought and point out that enjoyment should be the key and not to put to much pressure on presumable findings. I would like to think that everyone is right. I just want to get away. I want to re-establish what right now means. I want to see my skelton. If you stripped me of the things that fill my life - cell phone, internet, work, the car, Atl., friends...what would exist afterwards. Good or bad - I'm pretty sure, I know I'll like whatever that is. I'm just not sure what it is. After the house burned down I got a taste of that and to be honest I didn't like the skeleton. I'm sure it is understandable - I don't know many people who by coming some forced grips of this reality would enjoy it - but maybe. Irregardless - I didn't. I'm going to miss a lot. But god I need this. I'm the type of person who needs vacation and relaxation or I go crazy. I have been compared to a rubberband often. Not like the rubberbandman but more like your stressed out second aunt that shot her husband in Tennesee. Anyways, I love you.

I miss Natalie. I decided to make a change of who I was in my life - I don't want to feel bad anymore. I feel like eyes are rolling. I'm sorry. But its cool. I love you and I love me. Less sorry more ITALY! 3 people have decided Italy is the answer.

It is official....I might get my passport in time, but they can't promise anything.


uggggg June 26th, 2007 feels so close. I'm beyond panicked.

I'm currently buried in a tidal wave of work and still in lack of a passport. I'm on hold in the same problem I had two weeks ago. It is dissapointing at best. I can't wait to leave. Is that horrible? Probably. But I'm so confused. My brakes are dying. My cat is sick. And everyday I'm dead center between the happiest and the worst ever. Going out I have to hear that everyone has seen David around, I'll be fine. Honestly, moving on is okay but thinking about him moving on - just about kills. I guess that makes me human and I should never admit to it. I don't think most people would, not even to thier selves.

The mural is almost done and that makes my lips curl - the books are ordered - the bags are packed - I'm already gone!

Right now I'm experiencing my first bar mitzvah. It involves pop music by no doubt, fergie, ja rule - veggie bite size spring rolls, bean bags, lighty glasses, beach towels, and "jared" napkins. To be honest it is spirtual in a modern sense. For the record I'm numb and heartless. I want to be ice right now. I want to go and just have a long vacation and watch my heart melt in the july heat out of my left pantleg. There a hungry dog will lap it up and I will be done. Then I could go on never being distracted by that organ again. So among all the endless things that are my favorite, I'll end with these two. Every single person working the bar mitzvah just has this akward smile. I like to casually ask how it was when they became thirteen - three friends, maybe a cake. Then we just stare out. Now my last favorite. Upon entering the party, there is a huge framed glossy picture of Jared. Everyone is suppose to sign and leave Jared notes. Most have turned out to be congratulations of some sort. My favorite it is the one that says Great Job! You did it. With that I would like to extend my own words: Jared you finally fucking did it. Great Job at turning Thirteen (finally).

In the past three days everything has tumbled, evaporated, or selfdestructed. It might get worse. But thats okay.

Goodluck Mini-K! Viva Cuba. This is how much I love you.

I'm not so sure that this will be sad or happy: Its somewhere in between. So I have some of my hand back and it feels good. It makes me coo between the sheets like a thirteen year old girl talking to her pillows. The mural is almost done and in no time at all I will leave. I have no clue what I'll come back to. I love you and thanks for listening to my weeping it can't be easy. Deepdown undertsand that I will always prefer weeping to numb. No matter how much I say otherwise. i like to know I'm still alive. I like to think that everyday is just like being expelled from the womb and just re-understanding that this is the world. I want to go to the airport and sit for hours watching people get off the plane being regreeted by thier loved ones. I want the world to be big and small. I'm leaving in exactly 28 days. I'm going to try and journal everyday. Because I'm fairly sure that the next 661 hours will change my future - the time, manner, day, and way I disapear from this petite existence. I spill joy at this thought.

The last two days pushed me into summer lites with wobbly legs but with all my might that tingling sensation was a magnitude of happiness. Two picnics; one whole book; time with my favs people; a mural; a 40; telephone; the dj spinning the right song; and lots and lots of bobbing. I'm bobbing in my seat. I'm bobbing each hour away. No longer can I not wait for Italy and no longer do I miss the past. For 3.5 days I have been right here. Feeling the breeze. Dancing and swaying. Knowing that one day I'll look back at Natlie and probably Ryan and go that was fun wasn't it. And maybe they will agree. If they don't I'll give them five dollars each, then maybe they will agree. Also, I must read the little prince.....thanks, Minik.

I have exactly 2 hours and 41 minutes to score a picture with Hilary. . . The campaign guy said no problem.....So hopefully I will have something to show at the end the nite.

So I'm sick and exhausted. I spent a week unfurling sails and boating far and wide. Then I came back home put out the fire and went to bed. I don't care how nervous you make me I just can't do this to myself. Not that you know. It is nice to know that someone can make me swallow my stomach and diest it in heartbeats. I spoke to the Alaskan today. We both relieved the conversation before we could cry. I'm at the point where I understand more and more why I put up with so much. I'm picky sustainable and I have a lot I'm interested in. I need a match thats lit. One day I'm free of you in the same way that I have succumbed that I'll never be. And that is okay. I collapsed on a bed of clovers and undertood it all: so good and so bad..so much good and so much bad. I'm ready to fold back into myself and feel whole again. I need to be alone it is my salvation. Digest in my stomach. Love is trouble and I'm not ready to date.